Because tonight we won trivia. A ton of fun. We all get pretty pumped when we win trivia. We hear them announce the second place team and suddenly we know that we are the first place team. We all go ' WHOOOO YEAHH BABY'. Hands fly and make all kinds of contact with one another.
And them suddenly I'm home again at the end of the night. Desirous of a shower. Curious about the future. Eager for water.
This week has felt so much longer than it has actually been.
It is only Tuesday.
I feel like it should be Thursday or something.
It hasn't been that difficult. It has just felt long.
I wonder about myself these days.
I'm lacking definition.
And I laugh at that idea of having definition. Knowing who I am or what I'm doing.
I have read 35 pages of Leviathan. Finding it quite strange so far. Lots of discussion of 'Man'. The issue of philosophical anthropology is a very interesting one. A crucial one.
But Hobbes was able to speak of 'Man' in that sense. Was able to talk about the universalities of 'Man'. I'm happy to be reading it.
Part of me likes it because it is written in old English. Words like 'warre' instead of 'war'. Lots of different spellings, different things going on.
Also, I haven't done any writing in a little while. Any serious writing, I mean.
I have this essay on relationships and mediums sitting in a word document. But I haven't put much work into it right now.
I had some kind of profound moment the other night where I felt like I had breakthroughs.
Something about human self-creation. Something about history and experience and synthetic experience and human self-creation.
Something something something.
My thoughts continue to be scattered. And I suspect that is okay..