Sunday, June 26, 2011


Man, Bill Callahan is an intense musician sometimes. Well. All the time. But sometimes his music really hits me in ways that are strange. I used to listen to him when he recorded as 'Smog'. Just a moment ago the song 'To Be Of Use' came on and I was like WHOA.

It is an unbelievably slow song. So bare. So minimal. But the lyrics shock me in some ways.

Oh and then the slide guitars just came on. And I'm all like uhhhhhh. Whoooooooaaa.

It also turns out it has a music video, and it looks super weird. I'm watching it right now. You can watch it here:

And here are the lyrics:

"Most of my fantasies are of
Making someone else come
Most of my fantasies are of
To be of use
To be of some hard
Undeniable use

Like a spindle
Like a candle
Like a horseshow
Like a corkscrew

To be of use
To be of use

Most of my fantasies are of
Making someone else come
On a horse
Over palms laid
On the threshold
On the coming day

Coming day
Coming day come."

I wonder what it is about them. Why I find them so jarring or emotional. I don't know. They are so desperately social and romantic. I like it.

It reminds me of something I read recently. I finished Vonnegut's Sirens Of Titan. I liked it a good bit. At one point in the book a character says that the worst thing to ever happen would be for someone to never be used by anyone else. That there is something good about people using one another.

And frankly I also feel this in a way. I want people to use me. Not for fickle ends. Not so people can get money or things like that. But I want people to use me for my relationships. Or use me for my conversation. Use me for something that is good. Because I think there is something good to be said for people using one another for their company, for their feelings, for their relationships. I dunno what I'm saying. There is an interesting sentiment that Vonnegut is trying to communicate in Sirens, and I think that Callahan is also communicating it in 'To Be Of Use'. I like that song. And I liked that book.

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