Wednesday, January 5, 2011

That Social Regard

I would tear at my innards
If I cared about you.
I would writhe and squirm
With the thought of us.

I wait for you
Like I wait for myself.
Chat chat chat chat
With that silly speed.

I'll be the one to do it
To tell you that I'll die.
To wait until we were different
Or until we were the same.

Because I believe
That we could be the same.
We could become one another
If we were willing to be ourselves.

If this fear didn't choke
Every attempt I made
At being scared scared scared
For every world within this Earth.

Vomit vomit vomit
For all of our sake.
Purge myself for you
Because I'm afraid I don't know how.

Grow old and die!
Quicker quicker!
I can't wait for all that death!
I can't wait to go away!

I must shut down
If I am to open up.
The idea to escape ideas.
The word to destroy words.

If I don't expect anything from you,
Know that I really love you.
If I expect everything from myself,
It's because I want it all.

I want all the gold.
I want all the money.
I want all the love.
I want all that savage affirmation.

If I shout at you,
Know that you've stirred me.
Know that I hate your plastic cards.
Know that I loathe my synthetic/organic nature.

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About Me

I spend most of my time working as a mental health professional. I have been preoccupied with philosophy, politics, healing, and many other questions for the last 15 years or so. I am currently working on putting together my study of Plato and Aristotle with contemporary work in philosophy, psychology, psychotherapy, and trauma research. I use this place primarily as a workshop for ideas. I welcome conversation with anyone working on similar problems. The major contours of my basic project have been outlined here

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