Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Clicking For New York Times When I'm Already On New York Times

Tonight I have felt so very distracted. I ate a lot of food. I drank some beer. I did a lot of laundry. And I didn't do as much writing as I would have liked.

I'm reflecting on Part III.3 of my AZI essays. I feel that I need to really make it strong. Really have it pack a punch. It is the final section in which I will be talking about this idea of life as art explicitly. From there I'll be talking more politics. So I'm spending all this time looking at the outline, adding sections, thinking about paragraphs and subsections and all that.

But gosh do I feel distracted tonight.

I'm not sure why. Social relationships have my mind in other directions. Chit chatting with people online. Wanting to see people. Needing to get practical things taken care of.

My distraction really hit me a few moments ago. I was on New York Times, and I went up to my bookmarks and clicked on the link for New York Times without even thinking about it. I just clicked it.

Oh and what do you know I just refreshed the page that I was already on. Silly silly silly!
Just feels so crazy to be that wrapped up in this routine of clicking on certain websites, doing certain things on this blasted computer.

I want to get in bed and read Carl Schmitt's The Concept Of The Political. I finished John Gray's Enlightenment's Wake today. Lots more reflection on that book is in order and is on the way.

But yeah having a hard time feeling like the writing I was doing tonight was alright. It is fine. I just think I need a bit of time, a week or so, to reflect on the outline for part III.3.

Gosh! I'm cool now!

Just reflecting on how distractibility plays a part in my life and how it isn't easy to just write write write. It has to be coaxed by reflection and waiting. It doesn't just happen easily.

It isn't like bleeding. It is like working hard to pump a well that runs dry at random.

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