The End Of (Formerly Routine) Days

Shouts out to Arnie.

Today was my last day at the University Bookstore. Tonight I had a bunch of people come out to say goodbye to me. It was fun. I was glad to see all kinds of people.

Now I'm home.

I don't work tomorrow.

I don't know what I'll do.

Maybe, hopefully, I'll finish Examined Lives. A book I've very much enjoyed reading.

I still find myself troubled and baffled by the issue of the philosophical life. By things like Buddhism and Zen.

I still don't know how to live well.

I still don't know how I want to conduct myself.

I still wonder about the relationship between rationally articulated principles and the intuitive business of life.

How am I to properly use reason?

How is rational thinking to aid me?

I still feel very young and out of control of myself.

I can't write much more.

I'm too tired

But I will say that I wonder about how much I hope for the world.

My friend recently expressed ambivalence about hope.

It is unclear whether or not we should hold hopes for the human world.

What is to be done with it?

What should I do about all these problems that I don't know what to do about?

All these wars, crimes, injustices, so on.

What can I do about them?

For me the only thing I can think to do is think.

I just want to withdraw and think about the world.

Try to understand it.

And try to express something about it.

But why is that useful?

Is that going to help anyone?

Should I just withdraw and worry about myself?

Many of the philosophers covered in Examined Lives seemed to value peace and quiet more than most things.

Diogenes, Rousseau, Kant, Emerson. Probably a few others. More than anything else they all seemed to want to live a good life.

But I don't know what I want. I still do have hope for the world. I know that I do.

I feel to young to feel that jaded about the world.

But I don't know where I'll end up.

I have so many more ideas relating to all of these issues.

I have all these thoughts about intellectuals, rationality, living, politics, culture, so on. So many other things.

I don't know what kind of work to do.

I don't know what type of study is best for me.

But I'm really excited. I'm going to keep working.